How to write a work email, with before and after examples
Put the point first, the date in the subject, and one next step at the end. Here is how, with real before and after rewrites.
To write a good work email, put your question or answer in the first two lines, use a subject line that names the topic and any deadline, stick to one topic, and end with one clear next step and a date. Keep it short enough to read on a phone without scrolling, and follow up once if you hear nothing in two or three working days.
The structure of a work email
Five parts, top to bottom. When an email goes unanswered, check the third and the fifth first.
- Subject line: the topic plus what you need, and the date if there is one.
- Greeting: "Hi Ana," is right for almost every internal email.
- The point: your question, request or answer in the first one or two lines.
- Only the context they need: a few short lines or bullets, never the whole backstory.
- The next step: who does what by when, then your name.
Subject: [Topic]: [what you need] by [day, date] Hi [name], [The ask or the answer, in one or two sentences.] [Context, only what they need to act:] - [Fact or option] - [Fact or option] [The next step: who does what by when.] Thanks, [Your name]
Subject lines that get opened
The subject line decides whether your email is read now, later or never.
- Name the topic first. People scan their inbox by topic, so lead with it.
- Add the ask. Approval needed, FYI, question, decision: say which one it is.
- Put the date in. A deadline in the subject gets answered before one hidden in line six.
- Keep it under about eight words. Long subject lines get cut off on phones.
- Before:
Quick questionAfter: Q4 budget: can we move $3k to events? - Before:
UpdateAfter: Website launch moved to Tuesday, Nov 17 - Before:
MeetingAfter: Pick a time for the vendor review by Friday - Before:
Following upAfter: Still need: signed contract for Acme by Nov 6 - Before:
Important!!!After: Action needed: confirm your benefits by Nov 20
Lead with the point
The same email twice. The first makes Jordan dig for the question; the second asks it in line one and makes the answer one word.
Subject: Training Hi Jordan, Hope you had a good weekend! I wanted to touch base about a few things. As you know, we've been talking about training for a while, and after the last planning meeting a couple of people mentioned it again, so I started looking at some options, which took longer than expected. Anyway, there are two vendors, and I think either could work. Let me know what you think when you get a chance. Thanks! Sam
Subject: Sales training: pick a vendor by Thursday Hi Jordan, Can you choose between two sales training options by Thursday, Nov 12? I'd go with the first. - Option 1: two half days in January, $4,800, in person - Option 2: six online sessions, $3,900, starts in February Reply "1" or "2" and I'll book it the same day. Thanks, Sam
Length and formatting
Plenty of work email gets read on a phone, between other things. Write for that.
- One topic per email. Two asks in one email means one of them gets missed.
- Fit it on a phone screen. If they have to scroll, it's a document, so attach it or book a call.
- Short paragraphs. Two or three lines each, with a blank line between them.
- Bullets for options and lists. Three or more items read faster as bullets.
- Bold only the deadline. Bold everywhere means nothing stands out.
- Links over attachments. A shared doc link stays current; an attachment is out of date by Friday.
Tone: direct and warm at once
Clear isn't rude. These six phrases often read colder or vaguer than you meant, and each has a plainer swap.
- Before:
Per my last email...After: Sending this again in case it got buried: the deadline is Friday. - Before:
Sorry to bother you, I just wanted to quickly check if maybe you had a chance...After: Could you send the Q3 numbers by Thursday? - Before:
Need this ASAP.After: Could I have this by 3 PM Friday? The client call is Monday. - Before:
Thoughts?After: Do you approve option B? A one-word yes is enough. - Before:
Going forward, please make sure to...After: Next time, could you copy me on vendor emails? It saves me a step. - Before:
No worries if not!After: If you can't, just tell me and I'll ask Priya.
Giving someone critical feedback? Do it in person or on a call, not by email; our guide to giving constructive feedback covers how.
How to follow up when nobody replies
Silence usually means busy, not no. A good follow-up makes answering take ten seconds.
- Wait two or three working days, unless the deadline is sooner. Then follow up the day before it.
- Reply on the same thread. The history stays in one place and they don't have to search.
- Restate the ask in one line. Don't make them reread the first email to find it.
- Make the answer easy. Offer a yes or no, or a default you'll go with.
- Change the channel after two tries. A quick message or call beats a third email.
Hi Jordan, Checking on the sales training choice below. If I don't hear back by Thursday, I'll book option 1 so we keep the January dates. Thanks, Sam
Following up after a meeting? Send the decisions and owners, not a retelling; our meeting minutes template shows the format.
Worked example: inviting your team to an event
Invites have the most to fit in: a date, a time zone, a deadline and a link. Here is one for a December team event, before and after.
Subject: Holiday thing!! Hey everyone, We're doing something fun for the holidays this year, a virtual cookie decorating event! It should be really fun. It's in December, more details to come. Please let me know if you can come and also send me your address at some point for the supplies. Thanks!
Subject: Holiday cookie decorating, Thu Dec 10: address by Nov 19 Hi team, You're invited to decorate holiday cookies together on Zoom on Thursday, December 10, from 3 to 4 PM ET. A live host leads it, and a kit with the supplies ships to your door. To get your kit in time, add your shipping address by Thursday, November 19: [form link] - It's on work time and takes an hour. - Have a mixing bowl and a flat tray ready. - Note any allergies on the form. - Can't make it? Reply and tell me, so we don't ship a kit. See you there, Maria
- The subject carries the date and the one thing people must do
- Date, time and time zone sit in the first sentence
- One action, one deadline, one link
- What to expect, including what to have ready, fits in short bullets
- Saying no is easy, so nobody gets a kit they won't use
The event in the example is a real format: KraftyLab books live-hosted virtual cookie decorating, with a kit shipped to every guest (continental US shipping included). Kit workshops need about 3 weeks for US addresses, which is why the invite asks for addresses by November 19. Hosted games need about 2 weeks and no addresses at all. Two options for a December party, with today’s prices:
Cookie DecoratingStarting at $88 USD / person
Scavenger Hunt with a Twist!Starting at $39 USD / person
See more on our virtual holiday party page, borrow wording from our holiday party invitation wording, or send your date and headcount to get a free quote within 24 hours.
Before you hit send
Seven questions, ten seconds. Run them on anything that goes to more than one person.
- Could they act on the first two lines alone?
- Does the subject say what you need?
- Is every date written with the day and the month?
- Is there one owner for each next step?
- Did you attach or link what you mention?
- Would you be fine with it being forwarded?
- Is it going only to the people who need it?
Writing something lighter? We have thank you messages for coworkers, funny out of office messages and holiday out of office messages ready to copy, and our business etiquette guide covers manners beyond the inbox.
