Active listening exercises: 20 activities, examples and a self-check
Exercises and games for pairs and teams, each with steps and debrief questions. Plus side-by-side examples and a self-check you can print.
Active listening is a skill you can watch: the listener lets you finish, says back what you meant and asks about it before giving an opinion. Below are 20 active listening exercises and games for pairs and teams, each with steps and two debrief questions, then 15 examples of active listening at work next to the replies people usually give, a self-check you can print, and how to listen well on video calls and in one-on-ones.
What active listening looks like
These are the seven things an active listener actually does. Every exercise below practices one or more of them.
- Gives full attention. Screens down, body turned toward the speaker, eyes on them most of the time.
- Lets the speaker finish. No interrupting, no finishing their sentences, and a short pause before replying.
- Paraphrases. Says back the content in their own words: "So the launch moved because legal hasn't signed off."
- Reflects feelings. Names the emotion they hear, and lets the speaker correct it: "Sounds like that was frustrating."
- Asks open questions. "What happened next?" and "What would help?" keep the speaker talking about their topic.
- Holds back advice. Doesn't fix, judge or tell their own story until they understand, or until they are asked.
- Summarizes. Pulls the main points together at the end so both people leave with the same picture.
The term comes from psychologists Carl Rogers and Richard Farson, who described it in a 1957 paper titled Active Listening. The idea has not changed much since: the listener’s job is to understand the speaker from the speaker’s point of view, and to show it.
20 active listening activities and exercises
Each one lists the time, the group size, the steps and two debrief questions. Most run in pairs, so any team size works: pair people up and let every pair go at once.
Listening games and warm-ups
Five to ten minutes each. Good for opening a training session or waking up a meeting.
1. Sound map
Builds: Noticing how much you filter out without trying.
5 minutes · Any size · Paper and a pen each · works on video
- Everyone sits in silence for two minutes, eyes closed if they like.
- They write down every sound they heard, near and far: the air vent, a door down the hall, their own breathing.
- Compare lists. Count the sounds only one person noticed.
Debrief
- Which sound did you only notice once you were trying to?
- What do we tune out in meetings the same way?
2. Detail catch
Builds: Remembering the specifics, not just the gist.
10 minutes · Pairs · No materials · works on video
- The speaker tells a 90-second story about their first job, full of specifics: names, places, numbers.
- The listener retells it with at least three specific details, without notes.
- The speaker says which details were right and which were missed. Swap roles.
Debrief
- Which kind of detail slipped away first: names, numbers or places?
- What detail do we most often get wrong when we pass on a request?
3. Find the ask
Builds: Picking the request out of a rambling message.
10 minutes · Any size · The three messages at the end of this section · works on video
- Read the three messages at the end of this section aloud, once each, at a normal speed.
- After each one, everyone writes down what the caller wants, from whom and by when.
- Compare answers before revealing the right one.
Show the answer
Message 1: Dana needs the Denver trip receipts before Thursday. Message 2: Sam needs the pricing page draft, as a PDF, by Wednesday. Message 3: Priya wants to be signed up for the afternoon only, with a vegetarian lunch.
Debrief
- Which detail did most people miss, and where was it hidden in the message?
- How could we leave messages that put the ask first?
4. Ten-word summary
Builds: Boiling down what you heard to its main point.
10 minutes · Pairs · No materials · works on video
- The speaker talks for two minutes about a project they are working on.
- The listener sums it up in exactly ten words.
- The speaker rates the summary from 1 to 5 for accuracy and says what was missing. Swap roles.
Debrief
- What did you have to leave out to get to ten words?
- Did the speaker agree on what the main point was?
5. Bad listening on purpose
Builds: Feeling what poor listening does to a speaker.
10 minutes · Pairs · One bad-habit card per listener · works on video
- The speaker talks for two minutes about a weekend plan or a hobby.
- Round one: the listener secretly acts out a bad habit from a card, such as checking their phone, interrupting, jumping to advice or turning the talk to themselves.
- Round two: the same story, and the listener gives full attention.
- The speaker describes how each round felt. Swap roles.
Debrief
- How quickly did the speaker notice the bad habit?
- Which of these habits do we fall into without meaning to?
The three messages for find the ask (number 3)
- “Hi, it's Dana from accounts. Hope your week is going OK. So, I was looking at the March numbers and something looks odd on the travel line, I think it's the hotel in Denver. Anyway, I need the receipts from that trip before Thursday so I can close the month. Thanks, bye.”
- “Hey, it's Sam. Quick one. The client moved the review, not this Friday, the one after, and they want to see the new pricing page first. So if you could get the draft to me by Wednesday, that would be great. Oh, and they asked for it as a PDF.”
- “Hi, this is Priya. I saw your note about the team offsite, it sounds great. I can't make the morning, I have an appointment, so could you put me down for the afternoon session only? And I'm vegetarian, if that matters for the lunch order.”
Paraphrasing and reflecting exercises
The core skill: saying back what you heard, and how the speaker seems to feel about it, before you respond.
6. Paraphrase before you reply
Builds: Making sure you understood a point before arguing with it.
15 minutes · Groups of 4 to 6 · No materials · works on video
- Pick a low-stakes topic people have opinions on, such as the best day for the team meeting.
- One rule: before you make your point, you paraphrase the previous speaker until they say "yes, that's it."
- The facilitator holds the group to the rule for ten minutes.
Debrief
- How did the discussion change when everyone had to paraphrase first?
- How often did a first paraphrase miss, and why?
7. Name the feeling
Builds: Reflecting the emotion as well as the facts.
15 minutes · Pairs · A list of feeling words on screen · works on video
- Put a list of feeling words on screen: relieved, stuck, proud, overlooked, rushed, curious, uneasy.
- The speaker tells a two-minute story about a recent moment at work that frustrated or pleased them.
- The listener reflects both parts: "It sounds like you felt overlooked because the update went out without your input." The speaker corrects anything that is off.
- Swap roles.
Debrief
- How did it feel when the listener named the feeling correctly, or got it wrong?
- Where at work do we answer the facts and ignore the feeling?
8. The word they repeated
Builds: Hearing what the speaker stresses.
10 minutes · Pairs · No materials · works on video
- The speaker talks for two minutes about how their week is going.
- The listener notes any word the speaker repeated or stressed, such as "finally" or "again."
- The listener asks about it: "You said again twice. What keeps happening?" Swap roles.
Debrief
- What did the repeated word open up that the story alone did not?
- Did the speaker know they had repeated it?
9. Echo the last words
Builds: Inviting more with a short, neutral prompt.
10 minutes · Pairs · No materials · works on video
- The speaker starts talking about a decision they are weighing.
- Whenever the speaker pauses, the listener repeats their last two or three words as a question: "Before the end of the quarter?"
- Keep going for three minutes, then swap roles.
Debrief
- How much more did the speaker say than they planned to?
- When would echoing feel natural at work, and when would it feel odd?
10. Random summarizer
Builds: Making sure a meeting ends with one shared understanding.
One 30-minute meeting · 4 to 12 people · Names on slips of paper · works on video
- At the start of a real meeting, explain that someone drawn at random will summarize each agenda item before it closes.
- When an item wraps up, draw a name. That person says the decision, the owner and the deadline in two sentences.
- Anyone who heard it differently says so now, not in a chat thread afterward.
Debrief
- How often did the summary need correcting?
- What would change if every meeting closed items this way?
Exercises for staying with the speaker
Most bad listening is not about missing words. It is jumping in, giving advice or steering the talk back to yourself.
11. Just listen
Builds: Staying quiet and present for longer than feels natural.
10 minutes · Pairs · No materials · works on video
- The speaker talks for three minutes about something they are looking forward to.
- The listener says nothing at all. They can nod and use their face, but no words and no sounds.
- The speaker says how it felt to be listened to without interruption. Swap roles.
Debrief
- What did the speaker say in minute three that they might not have said in minute one?
- What did the listener want to say, and why did it feel urgent?
12. Tell me more
Builds: Keeping the focus on the speaker's topic.
10 minutes · Pairs · No materials · works on video
- The listener may use only three phrases: "Tell me more", "What else?" and "What happened next?"
- The speaker talks about a challenge at work for three minutes.
- Swap roles, then compare how far each conversation went.
Debrief
- How did three plain phrases keep the speaker going?
- What did you learn that a question of your own might have cut off?
13. Three-second pause
Builds: Leaving room before you respond.
15 minutes · Groups of 4 to 8 · No materials · works on video
- Pick a real but low-stakes topic to discuss for ten minutes.
- The one rule: after anyone finishes speaking, everyone waits three full seconds before the next person starts.
- One observer counts how often the pause gets skipped and how many people speak.
Debrief
- Who spoke who usually doesn't?
- How did the pause change what people said, not only who said it?
14. No me-too
Builds: Resisting the urge to make it about yourself.
15 minutes · Groups of 4 to 6 · No materials · works on video
- Go around the group. One person shares a small moment from their week, such as a meeting that ran long or a task that went better than expected.
- The next person must reply to that story with a question or a reflection before sharing their own: no "that happened to me" and no "when I..."
- Anyone can raise a hand at a me-too, and the person tries again. Go around twice.
- Name the pattern: sociologist Charles Derber called the me-too reply a shift response, and the reply that stays on the speaker a support response.
Debrief
- How often did the listener almost tell their own story?
- When does sharing your experience help, and when does it take over?
15. Walk and listen
Builds: Listening without a screen between you.
20 minutes · Pairs · Phones, if the pair is remote
- Pairs go for a walk outside, or call each other by phone while each takes a walk.
- For the first ten minutes, one person talks about a work question they are stuck on and the other only listens and asks questions.
- Swap roles for the second ten minutes. Each listener ends with a one-sentence summary.
Debrief
- How was listening different without faces and screens?
- Which conversations on our team would go better as a walk?
Listening is easier on a team where people trust each other. If yours is not there yet, start with the trust exercises in our trust fall guide.
Active listening at work and on calls
Run these inside real meetings and real conversations, so the habit sticks where it matters.
16. Airtime tally
Builds: Seeing who speaks, who gets cut off and who goes unheard.
One 30-minute meeting · 4 to 12 people, plus one observer · A tally sheet with every name on it · works on video
- Ask one person to sit out a real meeting as an observer, with everyone's agreement.
- The observer marks each time someone speaks and each time someone is interrupted, and by whom.
- In the last five minutes, the observer shares the tally without commentary, and the team agrees on one change.
Debrief
- Did the tally match how the meeting felt?
- What will we do differently in the next meeting because of it?
17. Complaint call
Builds: Hearing a customer out before solving the problem.
15 minutes · Groups of 3 · Three customer cards per group · works on video
- One person plays a customer with a card describing their complaint, such as a late order or a bill that is higher than expected.
- The listener must do four things before offering any fix: let them finish, name how they feel, sum up the problem and ask what would help.
- The observer checks off each of the four. Rotate roles with a new card.
Debrief
- Which of the four steps did listeners most want to skip?
- How did the customer's tone change once they felt heard?
18. What was the point?
Builds: Checking whether a talk landed the way the speaker meant.
10 minutes · Any size · Sticky notes or a poll · works on video
- Before a presentation or an all-hands update, the speaker writes their main point in one sentence and keeps it hidden.
- Afterward, everyone in the audience writes the main point they heard.
- Reveal the speaker's sentence and compare it with the audience's answers.
Debrief
- How close were the audience's answers to the speaker's point?
- What made the main point easy or hard to hear?
19. Stand-up handoff
Builds: Turning a round of updates into a conversation.
15 minutes · 4 to 10 people · No materials · works on video
- Run your daily or weekly stand-up as usual, with one change.
- Before giving their own update, each person names one thing from the previous person's update that they could help with or want to know more about.
- Note the offers of help and follow up on them after the meeting.
Debrief
- How did knowing you would respond change the way you listened?
- Which offer of help would not have happened otherwise?
20. Voice-only listening
Builds: Showing you are listening when nobody can see you nod.
10 minutes · Pairs, on a video call · No materials · works on video
- On a call, the speaker talks for two minutes about a current project while the listener stays on camera.
- Repeat with the listener's camera off. Now the listener has to show attention with short spoken signals: "Mm-hm", "Got it", "So the date moved?"
- The speaker says which round felt more like being heard. Swap roles.
Debrief
- Which spoken signals helped, and which felt like interrupting?
- What should we do on calls where cameras are off?
Want the other half of the conversation, such as giving clear instructions and feedback? See our communication activities.
15 active listening examples at work
The same moment, two replies. The first is what people often say. The second keeps the speaker talking and shows they were heard.
1. A coworker at the end of a long day
They say: “I've been on calls all day and haven't touched the report.”
Weak reply: “Same. My calendar is a nightmare.”
Active listening reply: “So the calls ate the whole day and the report is still waiting. Is it the deadline you're worried about?”
2. A direct report, about a new project
They say: “I'm not sure I'm the right person for this.”
Weak reply: “Of course you are. Don't worry about it.”
Active listening reply: “What's making you unsure?”
3. A customer on the phone
They say: “This is the third time I've had to explain this.”
Weak reply: “Can I get your account number?”
Active listening reply: “Having to explain it three times is frustrating. Let me say it back so you don't have to tell it a fourth time.”
4. A teammate in a planning meeting
They say: “I think the deadline is risky.”
Weak reply: “Noted. Moving on.”
Active listening reply: “Which part feels riskiest to you?”
5. A colleague, venting
They say: “My manager keeps changing priorities.”
Weak reply: “You should ask for a written plan.”
Active listening reply: “It sounds hard to plan anything when the target keeps moving.”
6. A new hire in week two
They say: “I don't really know who to ask about things.”
Weak reply: “It's all on the wiki.”
Active listening reply: “So you're not sure where to take your questions. What did you need to ask this week?”
7. A peer, after a sales demo
They say: “The client loved the demo, but they went quiet about pricing.”
Weak reply: “Great, sounds like it went well!”
Active listening reply: “So the demo landed, but pricing is the open question. What did they say when it came up?”
8. An employee in a one-on-one
They say: “I'm fine, just tired.”
Weak reply: “OK. So, on to the roadmap.”
Active listening reply: “Tired from the workload, or something else? We can take a few minutes on it.”
9. A colleague, about a reorganization
They say: “I'm worried about the reorg.”
Weak reply: “Nothing's decided yet, so there's no point worrying.”
Active listening reply: “What worries you most about it?”
10. A teammate pitching an idea
They say: “What if we tried weekly demos?”
Weak reply: “We tried that two years ago.”
Active listening reply: “What would weekly demos fix for you?”
11. A manager from another team
They say: “Your team missed the handoff again.”
Weak reply: “That's not what happened.”
Active listening reply: “Which handoff, and what did it hold up on your side?”
12. A coworker with good news
They say: “I finally finished the migration!”
Weak reply: “Nice. Did you see the email about Friday?”
Active listening reply: “Finally! That's been weeks of work. How does it feel to have it done?”
13. A quiet colleague who gets talked over on a call
They say: “I just wonder if we...”
Weak reply: Says nothing and lets the louder voice carry on.
Active listening reply: “Hang on, I think Jo was about to make a point. Jo, go ahead.”
14. A direct report, about new software
They say: “I don't think the new tool is working for us.”
Weak reply: “Give it time. Everyone hates change.”
Active listening reply: “What isn't working about it, specifically?”
15. A client on a renewal call
They say: “We might need to pause our account.”
Weak reply: “I can offer you a discount.”
Active listening reply: “Can you tell me what's behind the pause?”
An active listening self-check
Rate each line often, sometimes or rarely. It takes two minutes, and it prints on one page.
When someone is talking to me:
- I let people finish their sentence before I start talking.
- I put my phone away and close other windows when someone is talking to me.
- I can sum up what the other person said in a sentence or two.
- I ask a question before I offer advice.
- I check that I understood before I respond.
- I notice how someone feels, not only what they say.
- I keep the conversation on their topic instead of turning it to my own experience.
- I'm comfortable with a few seconds of silence.
- My follow-up questions are about what they said, not about what I want to say next.
- I keep listening when I disagree.
- On video calls, I stay focused on the speaker instead of my inbox.
- People come to me when they want to talk something through.
There is no passing score. Pick one line you marked rarely, practice it in every conversation for a week, then fill in the sheet again. Teams can fill it in privately before a training session and talk about the lines most people find hard.
How to practice active listening on video calls
A call removes most of the signals that show you are listening. Put them back on purpose.
- Make your attention visible. Keep your camera on if you can, and nod a little more than you would in person. Small tiles hide small signals.
- Close the other windows. People can tell when your eyes are reading something else, and they can hear you typing.
- Use short spoken signals. "Got it" or "Mm-hm" tells the speaker you are still there, especially when cameras are off.
- Leave a beat before you answer. Audio lag makes people talk over each other. A two-second pause after someone finishes prevents a lot of it.
- Bring people in by name. "Jo, you started to say something earlier" gives a quieter person a clear way back in.
- Write the summary down. Post a one-line summary of each decision in the chat, so everyone leaves with the same version.
How managers use active listening in one-on-ones
A one-on-one is the employee's meeting. The manager's main job in it is to listen.
- Let them choose the first topic. Open with "What's on your mind?" and wait.
- Listen for what comes up week after week, and ask about it directly.
- Ask before you advise: "Do you want ideas, or do you want to think it through out loud?"
- Notice changes in energy over several weeks, not only what is said in one meeting.
- Close by summarizing what you agreed and who does what, and write it down.
Three phrases to keep handy
- “What's the hardest part of that for you?”
- “Let me check I've got this right.”
- “What would make next week easier?”
To open a one-on-one or a team meeting with a question people actually answer, see our check-in questions. For more exercises aimed at managers, try our leadership activities.
Want an expert session for your team?
Practice is what builds listening, and the exercises above are the practice. To give a team the ideas behind it, book Fostering Emotional Intelligence, an expert talk by psychiatrist Dr. Ellen Vora on handling hard moments with empathy and resilience, then run two or three exercises from this page in the weeks after. For something lighter, our improv class is a fun, hosted way to build creativity and teamwork. Both run live on Zoom by default. See all team building workshops, book about 2 weeks ahead, or get a free quote.
An expert talk and a hosted improv class, 60 minutes each, with today’s prices.
